It must have been something you said

Cutting Crew

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight

I keep looking for something I can’t get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don’t see an easy way to get out of this
Her diary it sits on the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle
Who would’ve thought that a boy like me could come to this

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must’ve been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must’ve been some kind of kiss
I should’ve walked away, I should’ve walked away

Is there any just cause for feeling like this?
On the surface I’m a name on a list
I try to be discreet, but then blow it again
I’ve lost and found, it’s my final mistake
She’s loving by proxy, no give and all take
‘cos I’ve been thrilled to fantasy one too many times

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must’ve been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must’ve been some kind of kiss
I should’ve walked away, I should’ve walked away

It was a long hot night
And she made it easy, she made it feel right
But now it’s over, the moment has gone
I followed my hands not my head, I know I was wrong

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight,
It must’ve been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight
I, I just died in your arms tonight,
It must’ve been some kind of kiss
I should’ve walked away, I should’ve walked away

Breat Cancer Awareness Month

I had a breast cancer scare last year.

I was on OCP. I’ve been on and off OCP a couple of times before that, usually for total duration of 3-month per course (that’s when my acne would clear up) and up until last year, I did not experience any side effects.

I’ve been complaining about my menstrual cramps since forever, and Ponstan could usually take care of it, but ever since I hit my 30s, the cramps got more and more painful. My parents (who are doctors) would usually not take me seriously, but one day I went out with my Mum shopping, and she saw me took Ponstan before we left the house, but during shopping time, my cramps became so unbearable that I couldn’t even walk. I had cold sweat, my face got really pale, and I couldn’t even sit still. I cried too. So finally she believed me, and after talking with my dad, they told me to try out the OCP to make sure that the cramps are hormone-related and not something more serious. The OCP did make it better (I had no pain at all), but by the third month, I noticed a lump in my right breast.

It was near the areola, and it felt big. Like a 50-cent sized lump, and it would move around when I push on it. It also wasn’t painful. I freaked out because the internet was telling me that this might be a cancerous tumor, so after a few panicked calls with my parents, I managed to get an appointment at one of the government hospital in the next week, which was surprising because I tried getting an appointment at a private hospital and the only free slot was two months away. There’s no way I can live with the uncertainty  for two months. I was already a nervous wreck. Anyway, the specialist did the standard examination which included an ultrasound, and diagnosed it as benign cyst. It was 2 cm in diameter all around, and usually a cancerous lump would have uneven edges. So, phew. She immediately asked me if I wanted to do a fine-needle aspiration and I went, “All I heard was needle.”

Basically it’s sucking out the fluid in the cyst using a needle.

aspiration

Yep. Except my cyst was nearer to my areola, so… it was scarier because I thought I was going to lose my nipple. On a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is no pain and 10 is GTFO pain, the aspiration was about 6. I had subsequent follow-up appointments to monitor the situation and luckily there were no more cysts and the fluid from the cyst tested as normal. Also, I stopped taking OCP and just got a higher-dose painkiller for the first two days of my period every month.

I might have gotten lucky this time around, but I don’t know what the future will bring. So this is a reminder to myself and everyone who reads this that we should equip ourselves with knowledge on breast cancer so that we might detect it early for a higher chance of survival. Know your breasts, and always do your self-exams. There are a lot of info on the Internet about this, but I really like the National Breast Cancer. Org site because it breaks it down for dumb people like me. Do donate to your local cancer society like National Cancer Society Malaysia so that they can continue their good work in raising awareness and providing education materials, patient support and free health screenings for the underprivileged.

Ginger Lemon Honey Tonic

The haze is killing me, y’all.

Google-d, click pic for source

Google-d, click pic for source

I have sore throat, runny nose, and watery eyes. What’s worse is, it’s not contagious so I don’t get a sick day. Besides, if every clinic were giving out MCs for everyone who has haze-related ailments, then the majority of the workforce will be at home, recuperating. I get it, honestly I get it. But I don’t have to like it!

Anyway, made the ginger lemon honey tonic for its reported anti-sore throat/ flu goodness. Blended the whole thing in my Vitamix without even checking on the ratio. I put in, like, 500ml of lemon juice, 100ml water, one whole ginger, and a couple of squirts of honey. It’s not the most easy liquid going down your throat because of the lemon and ginger, but… we’ll see if it works. I hope it’d work because I cannot tahan anymore!

Google-d. Click on pic for source.

Google-d, click pic for source

Rocking this boat!

I was an impressionable 9 year old kid when I was introduced to NKOTB, and basically their hotness is imprinted sexually on me. Other guys are just dead to me now. I kid! But I’m not. HAHAHAHA.

rockthisboatNKOTBI am so happy that they have this on Netflix! So far I’m only at episode 3, but… there aren’t that many scenes with NKOTB in it! WHYYYYYY. The reality show follows selected fans throughout their experience on the NKOTB cruise and I guess they have some pretty entertaining background stories and they’re super funny to boot, but I need more NKOTB!

When they first announced they were going to do a concert on a cruise, I wasn’t too sure about the level of coolness in terms of… you know, reputation. But then… they’re a boy band in their mid-30s and 40s. Coolness is pretty much out of the window anyway. Then I read on Twitter how crazy the fans are and how crazy the cruise can get. I think there was one article I read about how one of the fans suddenly got her period but she wouldn’t leave her spot for anything! And so there were blood trails around her and… I mean, yuck.

Even if I were given free tickets, I don’t think I would go. First, I have motion sickness. Second, that period drama up there. Third, the crowd. You are basically trapped for a couple of days with 3000 other obsessed people, who have basically just left any rational/ responsible side of themselves on shore.  These fans are super crazy! And some of them are repeat concert-goers so they, like, have super thought-out strategies on how to get the band’s attention for the first-timers. I don’t know how the boys are not freak out about all the attention they’re getting. I don’t know how Jon didn’t freak out because he has major anxiety issue, right? Crazy.

Well I guess I’m crazy, but not that crazy. Blockheads forever!

I love you, I meant it

There was this boy, who kinda liked me but I weren’t really feeling him. I mean, he was cute but… too charming? I had to red flagged that because that just screams serial killer. You guys, I know it’s not a concrete excuse but you have to trust your gut, ok. He was sweet, but he made it seemed like I was this really cool person and he was totally into what I was into. Firstly, I know I’m not cool. Secondly, my interests are esoteric (fancy term for lame) and there’s just no way some guy could just so happen to have the same esoteric interests as mine. Anyway, last I heard from him he was married but I didn’t keep myself abreast of his updates because why.

That’s just an intro into saying that before I realised all that, I thought he was sweet because he gave me an mp3 of The Beatles’s cover of Last Christmas, after I told him that this is one of my absolute favourite song ever in the universe.

Premise: George Michael is rejected by this basic girl, so he’s threatening to fall in love with another person, damn you! I make jokes but seriously, this could be me. HAHAHAH.

This is the Beatles’s cover, but just the audio because they didn’t make a video clip:

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year
To save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special.

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye.
Tell me, baby,
Do you recognize me?
Well,
It’s been a year,
It doesn’t surprise me
(Merry Christmas)

I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying, “I love you,”
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I’ve been.
But if you kissed me now
I know you’d fool me again.

[Chorus 2x]

Oh, oh, baby.

A crowded room,
Friends with tired eyes.
I’m hiding from you
And your soul of ice.
My god I thought you were someone to rely on.
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on.

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart.
A man under cover but you tore me apart, ooh-hoo.
Now I’ve found a real love, you’ll never fool me again.

[Chorus 2x]

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you my heart)
A man under cover but you tore him apart
Maybe next year I’ll give it to someone
I’ll give it to someone special.

Special…
Someone…

Birthday cake planning: Pumpkin Pudding Cake?

 

I have two cans of pumpkin puree in my pantry right now. I saw them on the supermarket shelf and since it’s so rare, I grabbed two of ’em. I don’t even know what to do with it. It’s people like me that the markerters target because we’re so gullible.

Anyway, I think I might just try this one out for my birthday cake (or whenever, no reason to wait for my birthday hehe) since it looks do-able:

Click on pic to be directed to Baking Bites (original source)

Click on pic to be directed to Baking Bites (original source)

Ingredients

1/2 cup all purpose flour
3/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/8 tsp freshly ground nutmeg
1/8 tsp salt
2 large eggs, separated
1/2 cup pumpkin puree
1 cup minus 2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350F.
In a small bowl, whisk together flour and spices.
In a medium bowl, whisk together egg yolks, pumpkin puree, sugar, vanilla extract and milk. Add in flour mixture and whisk until combined.
In another medium bowl, beat egg whites to stiff peaks, approx 2-3 minutes. Gently whisk egg whites in to pumpkin mixture.
Pour batter into 8-inch square baking dish. Set baking dish inside of a larger pan (such as a 9×13-in. pan or a roasting pan) and fill with water until water reaches halfway up the side of the batter-filled baking dish (below the top of the batter)
Bake for 35-40 minutes, until cake is lightly browned on top and the cake springs back when gently pressed.
Serve warm.

Serves 6-8.

You know, I’m really liking my research for birthday cakes right now. Hehe.

Je vais bien

This morning I was reminded of how my current situation doesn’t really suck.

Regular commuters of the city’s public transport would avoid eye contact with each other, even though we might be pressing against each other like sardines in a can. The only exception was when I went to Geneva and people on the bus not only made eye contact, but actually smiled. Creepy.

Anyway, this morning a lady stopped me to ask for directions on how to get to a station, which coincidentally was my station too. My station is a pretty popular station because it’s right in the smack of the city centre, so I knew that this lady, other than not being from KL, has also not been in the city that long to not have figured out where the station is. So I told her that she could follow me, since we’re going to the same station.

She told me a lot about herself throughout our journey. I mean, intimate details that I would not have shared with a stranger. Obviously she is too trusting. Obviously she is not a cynical city dweller. She is thirty four, and a single mother. She came to the city so that she could earn more to support her two children, as her ex-husband is not paying alimony to her. In fact, she was going for a job interview as a promoter at a departmental store this morning. She used to study and worked part-time in the city, but then she got married right after her studies and followed her husband to Johor Bahru. She was a housewife, so no “traditional” working experience. She cannot fill a one-page résumé, and her only option was to apply for entry level positions and hoped that the overtime and commission will be able to supplement her basic wage. She was actually late for the interview because the daycare opened late so she had to wait for them to open.

I cannot imagine going through so many challenges. We are the same age, and yet our experiences differ vastly. Despite everything, she is still so trusting of people and so hopeful, as evidenced by her willingness to share her life events with a total stranger. She was so focused on getting her life back together too, as she told me that a lot of her stuff are still with her ex-husband’s, but she doesn’t want to go through the drama and just wanted to start taking care of herself and her kids. I don’t think I have the skill set or the mental strength to survive such ordeal.

I feel so crummy for indulging in self-pity. Compared to her challenges, I practically have an easy life. I am actually okay. I AM OKAY. It feels kinda good saying that out loud.

Salted Egg Yolk Pasta

You guys, don’t judge okay. Substituting food to fill emotional needs is a time honoured tradition of any respectable spinster. As my hero Liz Lemon would say:

Me

Me

Anyway, this recipe is da bomb diggity:

As I am living the #halallife (LOL, look at me being all millennial and shit), I’d substitute the bacon to beef bacon. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever come across salted egg mayo. The same people who made the video above has a how-to vid on how to make salted egg mayo too, but it seemed like too much work:

Being Malaysian, salted eggs are in abundance here and cheap, so maybe I could just substitute the salted egg mayo to just plain salted egg? Weekend project!